Adventures Capital

by Tom Swift

Getting in a buggy and heading into the Northwest Territories before the advent of refrigeration is one. Sure.

Going to the Mall of America, circa 2019, is not.

Swimming with sharks counts. Certainly.

Going to Orlando (yes, even if you fly coach) … not so much.

Adventure. It seems everyone in 2019 likes adventure. Everyone wants adventure. Everyone likes to say the word adventure. Adventure is hot. Go ahead, ask people what they like to do — let’s face it, especially if those people happen to be “not men” — and they will tell you they like to go on adventures. They will mention adventure in their dating app profiles, on their Instagram pages, where’re they publicly express the specialness of their lives. Except driving on the interstate to Duluth with a case of Cliff bars is not an adventure.

Here is Merriam-Webster on adventure:

1a : an undertaking usually involving danger and unknown risks.
b : the encountering of risks.
2 : an exciting or remarkable experience.
3 : an enterprise involving financial risk.

A key word jumps right out here: risk. Yes, of course, there is risk in any human activity and, in fact, we know there is risk with much inactivity. Standing still, you can, of course, in theory, get hit by that bus everyone always mentions.

Yet to say everything is an adventure is to say that nothing is. We all know that going to a new farmer’s market might create a happy, hand-holding half hour for you and your honey but, no, not even if they do unexpectedly sell baby arugula, have you gone on an adventure.

Unless you are falling from the sky, corded or cordless, let’s keep the word to a minimum, please. OK?

Yes, I will now go back to being a guy who is definitely not invited to your party.