Knuckles Runyon
Knuckles Runyon is older than you are. Crabbier, too. He once batted .213 for the Clarksburg Generals of the Western Pennsylvania League but you already knew that. Knuckles doesn’t love much beyond watching Nikita Kucherov play hockey and eating frozen blueberries. He believes in dogs but not in dogma. He ostensibly lives in Minneapolis but the most accurate thing you can say about his whereabouts is that he is often found stuck in the past.