Big Days

by Tom Swift

The heat hums. Then fades.

It is early morning.

Our breaths, yours and your little buddy’s, inhale, exhale. Air in, air out.

You are in your morning spot.

On days that you suspect might be bigger than other days the tendency is toward control. You tighten your grip on the smallest silver of this life that you have direct influence over. You will your way through the hours.

You watch the clock.

You order your world.

Arrange your thoughts. Or try to.

You tighten the leash — and not just the dog’s.

You engage in the illusion that if you do everything right you will be ready. You will be good enough.

That is when you know it is time to let go.

That is exactly when you know to unclench the fist you have around your small world.

Silly boy. Trying to switch into robot mode or something. Humans are not the way you are trying to be. Stop.

Release.

Life is flow. People are fluid.

You can’t be something you were not created to be. To try is to say that what you are is not adequate, not sufficient.

Yet what you have is enough. More than enough.

More importantly, what you are is enough.

The heat comes back on. The heat fades again.

Your breaths are in rhythm now. In, out. Our bellies go up, down.

Your whole life has built you to be ready for this moment.

Might as well let go and enjoy it.