Connection

by Tom Swift

Oprah Winfrey: “When you open yourself up, to share something that shamed you, what are you really looking for?”

Brené Brown: “I’m looking for someone who loves me not despite my vulnerabilities and imperfections but because of them. I’m looking to the friends who will show up and wade through the deep with me. And I think it’s a myth that you should have more than 1 or 2 of those. We see those TV commercials that show 15 of us laughing and doing that kind of stuff — nuh-nuh. If you have one person in your life to [whom] you can say, ‘I just told a bold-faced lie to someone I care about and I have no way to get out of it and I’m in a shame s— storm of epic proportions’ … if you have one person [in that moment] who looks at you and says, ‘All right, let’s do this thing. I’m with you. I’ve done it. Let’s talk it through.’ If you have one person like that you are so lucky.”

Winfrey: “And if you have two or three … ?”

Brown: “That’s it — that’s the lottery.”

Winfrey: “The lottery.”

Brown: “And you know what we all do, myself included, is we steamroll over those people to get the attention and approval of the people who will never show up for us like that.”

Winfrey: “Wow.”

Brown: “[We say,] ‘So you might be my best friend and you might be around me all the time, but those women at the mall, the ones I don’t [really] know? Those are the ones I’m really worried about.”

-SuperSoul Conversations, Part II, 8-17-2017