Corona Jujitsu — Not

by Tom Swift

Turns out, I was wearing it upside down.

My mask. My N-95. My first one. As I stood in line to get into the grocery store, I snapped a selfie to send to my friend as I thanked him again for the gratis covering. He politely pointed out my error. I didn’t receive his gentle admonition, however, until after I had gotten the nod and gone in and filled my cart. Not, actually, until I got home, and started unpacking my goods.

He asked if maybe I knew an especially good way to keep the Coronavirus at bay.

Unfortunately, my mental powers do not make me an antiviral Jedi master.

You mean that pretty lady in produce wasn’t checking me out — she was, in fact, looking long in my direction in an attempt to count the number of ways in which I am stupid?

I see.

Occurs that if I were to want to don anything more ridiculous on my next bimonthly trek I might wear over my nose what during my days as a hockey player we referred to as a nut-cup.