Muscle Down

by Tom Swift

I pulled a muscle in my back. I don’t recommend it.

It’s a good thing a person doesn’t really use their back for much, other than, of course, walking, sitting, bathing, reaching, bending, looking up, looking down, turning right, turning left, or, in other words, during pretty much every human act.

How did I pull a muscle in my back? By sleeping. That is, I went to sleep, no pulled muscle. I woke up, ouch. This is either a sign of age, a punishment for staying up too late to watch hockey two nights in a row, or an indictment of the warmup I did (i.e, didn’t do) before pull-up practice yesterday morning.

In any event, did I mention that a pulled back muscle hurts? As in is uncomfortable almost every waking minute? As in, pass-the-tree bark pain?

If I sound like a wuss it’s only because I am.