The Search Continues

by Tom Swift

Momentum is crucial.

We are what we repeatedly do.

I feel shame that I have been on this earth so long and still I am on a search for Self.

And I am grateful for the same reason.

We don’t know others’ hearts. Even if you live with someone for decades. But you suspect that many you encounter don’t seek, don’t really dig.

Perhaps that is just arrogance.

Too, it may all be a fool’s errand. There are many philosophies and more than a few brain experts who would have us believe the Self is nothing but a construct.

Think of that: spending one’s life searching for something you yourself make up yet cannot precisely locate.

Maybe we are as well off watching reruns of “Friends.”

We were walking just now. Me and B. It is one of those early spring days, one of the first of the year, in which it is warmer outside than in. Sitting on our back step, birds are calling and the sun is blotted only by thin tree branches, leafless, barely budding.

Presence. Writing clears out the barriers to moments like this one. Clears out barriers and makes possible connections.

Maybe the search for Self is like that. Maybe we look not for what we hope to find but rather for what we encounter along the way.

Keep going.